Finding One’s Way

We all use- perhaps are quite dependent on – Google Maps or Apple Maps these days.  Hard to remember that not so long ago they did not exist.  There is a very interesting book, Never Lost Again, by the person at Google who was largely responsible for the development and promotion of Google Maps, Bill Kilday.

He introduces his book by first recounting a time – before Google Maps – when he got lost in Boston while driving to a meeting.  He recalls his resulting frustration and embarrassment and general feeling of helplessness and even exhaustion in a strange environment.  He had an agenda and he failed to meet it.  Then he describes an entirely pleasant experience in Portland, Oregon some years later using Google Maps.  He has a dinner reservation at a restaurant whose address he has plugged into the Maps app on his phone.  The app guides him effortlessly and seamlessly to his destination. He arrives relaxed and ready to enjoy himself.

His purpose here is to showcase how wonderful Google Maps is, how such an ingenious application of technology can enhance our lives.  He is not wrong.  Maps is truly a modern marvel.

However, my reaction to this piece was, I am sure, just the opposite of what Kilday would expect.  I thought, “How dull!”  I do not want an entirely seamless journey though a strange city.  I delight in the unexpected twists and turns which reveal unanticipated aspects of my new surroundings.  Admittedly, such an attitude does not align well with a strict timetable, but it does make for, in my opinion, a richer experience overall.

I would go so far as to extrapolate my approach to life in general. Having a map is fine but being bound by a preconceived path can often narrow one’s focus to the extent that one misses out on much of the richness life has to offer.

How does this relate to young adults?

I think it’s obvious.  Mapping out their education and careers is a good idea, but they need not, should not, be blind to the opportunities which deviating from their chosen course may afford.  

This is what is known as a developmental approach to life and is far more organic than a strictly structured and predetermined approach.

It is entirely reasonable for us parents to want to help out and give guidance to our children as they set forth as independent adults, and we have a wealth of wisdom to impart.  The trick, the important thing, I feel, is to NOT be prescriptive.   We want our children to be independent and not dependent upon a rigid plan of action.